


Measured Words

by violasarecool



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 20:17:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17107424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: bastila has some Things To Say, but it's not what trin was expecting





	Measured Words

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally going to have a prior scene where bastila expresses some fears re: the dark side, similar to [Ocean Air](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6260773) but less flirty lmao. as it stands, this is now more of an alternate where they take a little longer to let their guard down.

The Ebon Hawk's crew returned late that afternoon, each crew member disappearing to their respective haunts for some welcome solitude—or as solitary as it got on the tiny ship. After days of smelling of salt and fish _(thanks, Manaan)_ , Trin was ready to do the same. And yet: as she headed for the starboard dormitory she found her footsteps dogged by none other than Bastila.

_Surprise._

Trin glanced at her impassively, but said nothing, waiting for the dam of Bastila's self-control to break under the sheer weight of Trin's _many_ flaws.

Bastila held her silence for all of ten seconds. Then, as they reached the relative privacy of the dormitories, she sucked in a breath—

"So, what did I do now?" Trin said idly, leaning against the ship's metal wall.

"I... what?" Bastila frowned at her, momentarily derailed.

"I did something wrong, right? Moved too quick, talked too loud, didn't sufficiently _guard myelf_ against the dark side?"

"No," Bastila said, a little impatiently. "no, you didn't do anything. I, um. I wanted to apologize, actually. For what I said earlier."

There was a beat of silence. "Apologize?" Trin repeated blankly. "What for?"

Bastila took a deep, measured breath. "For forcing my insecurities about the dark side on you—for bringing up that discussion at all, I suppose. Part of my purpose on this mission was to guide you in the way of the light, to help you avoid the temptations of the dark side, and here I am expressing _my_ fears to _you._ "

Trin grimaced. "Bastila, it's fine, you don't have to—"

"I don't think I'm the proper Jedi to guide you," she said quietly, and Trin fell silent. "I'm no Master. You should have remained with the Council."

"Wait, _what?"_ Trin said incredulously. "Don't be ridiculous, they _sent_ you here, what about... what about our bond?"

"Our _bond..."_ Bastila said dispassionately, gave a brisk shake of her head. "That force bond is part of the problem. The fact of the matter is that I've never possessed much skill at controlling myself, and with the bond that joins us, it seems I have even less."

"Uh..." Trin blinked, face heating at the implications of _that_ as her mind scrabbled for words, but Bastila seemed to almost be talking to herself, reading from a script that only she could see.

"You have maintained the path of the light side, of course, but not because of any influence on my part—it is increasingly obvious I am unable to guide you properly. I think..." She swallowed, then cleared her throat, gaze still fixed on a section of durasteel paneling, "I may have made a very big mistake. I simply hope that you are not the one who pays the price, ultimately, for the fact that I can't help you enough." Bastila turned as if to go, and Trin reached out on instinct, grabbing her shoulder. Bastila froze.

"Hey." Trin tugged on her shoulder, and Bastila turned slowly to face her. "You haven't failed me, not at all. You've taught me all kinds of things I wouldn't have learned on my own."

"That's very kind of you, but you don't have to spare my feelings."

"I've never done that _before,"_ Trin said dryly, "what makes you think I'd start now?"

"An excellent point," Bastila muttered.

Trin hesitated a moment, then reached out to take Bastila's hands in hers. "Look. We can help each other, ok? You can't do everything alone, and I could still use your help."

"You really still want my help?" Bastila asked, her mouth a tight line of worry, and Trin fought the urge to pull her into her arms and hug her until she stopped looking so _small_.

"Yes," Trin said firmly. "Gods know I could use the Jedi insight, and you're still the model student around here. Besides," she said, lowering her voice to a theatric whisper, "I refuse to be Carth's co-pilot."

Bastila tugged her hands away, giving Trin a frown that was somewhat ruined by the quirk of her lips. "I wasn't going to simply _abandon_ you."

"And my tenuous relationship with Carth thanks you," Trin said brightly.

Bastila made a noise that was partway between sigh and laughter. "Glad to help, I suppose." She took a step back, shoulders falling back into place as she slipped back into composure—or, near-composure, anyway. She gave Trin an uncertain smile. "Thank you."

"Uh huh," Trin said. "Main hold in an hour?"

Bastila nodded. Then, she was walking away, leaving just the fading echo of their bond and a pensive half-smile on Trin's face.


End file.
